Sex Addiction

(First appeared on Health & Wellness website http://www.associatedcontent.com Written by V.C. Higuera)

Various types of sex addictions are prevalent. While some cases are mild, and classified by the constant need for sexual gratification, other cases are so severe that they threaten a person’s relationships with family and friends. Because sex addiction is a hush-hush topic, few understand the gravity of the addiction. Jokingly, some people term themselves as sex addicts. However, an addiction to sex involves more than an enjoyment of sexual relations. In most cases, the addict is so consumed or preoccupied with sex, he or she will go to extreme lengths to fulfill their addiction. Often times, online pornography functions as a tool. Pornography is very addictive. Even though this addiction is common among men, there are a number of women with a constant need for viewing pornography. Regrettably, once an addiction to porn is born, overcoming the problem can be challenging. Even if a person is determined to stop obsessing over pornography, mental images remain imprinted on their brain, which makes the addiction hard to break.

What is Pornography?
Pornography consists of magazines, videos, and websites containing very sexually explicit material. Porn has many forms from soft-core to hardcore. Furthermore, porn addicts can choose from a wide range of sexual material including straight-porn (male and female,) gay porn, couples porn, lesbian porn, and so forth. Curiosity is the root of many porn addictions. Some people stumble upon pornography websites while searching the Internet. Rather than leave the site immediately, they become captivated and curious. Pornography is intended to excite sexual feelings. In turn, viewers pleasure themselves by means of sexual intercourse or masturbation. Even though pornography may sound innocent, the consequences are dangerous.

A few couples incorporate porn into their foreplay routine. In this case, pornography viewing is playful and innocent. Yet, a large number of people are unable to separate porn from their sex life. Upon viewing several porn websites or videos, addicts may want to integrate many of the sexual acts into their sex life. Porn can be degrading and extreme. Hence, one's partner may not be willing to engage in certain sexual acts.Even if there is consent at the time, it may be a cause for discomfort later. When this occurs, problems arise between the couple.

Furthermore, extreme porn viewing may make it impossible for an addict to gain sexual pleasure or satisfaction from sex with his or her partner. Unfortunately, some addicts can only reach sexual excitement by means of pornography.

Signs of Online Porn Addiction
• Desensitized – Previously appalling material loses its shock appeal.
• Daydreams – Porn addicts will create fantasies, in which he or she is acting out a favorite porn scene.
• Secretive – Porn addicts are often ashamed and will hide their addiction
• Preoccupation with sexual pleasure
• No longer attributes sex with love
• Neglects family and personal obligations

Overcoming Online Porn Addiction
Because online porn is readily available on the Internet, stopping the addiction is difficult. Addicts who acknowledge their addiction and are willing to change have a higher success rate. Yet, slip-ups may arise, which causes a setback in their recovery. Several online websites are available to assist with the recovery. Furthermore, sex and pornography addiction counselors and support groups are useful. Until the addiction is controlled, counselors may suggest extreme measures such as removing the computer from the home or canceling the Internet service.

The Internet provides access to virtually anything: shopping, news articles, games, and even pornography. Let's focus on the latter, however. The Internet is a feeding ground for individuals seeking pornography. Because of the vast amount of materials available for porn-addicts, a pornography addiction is frequently developed. A pornography addiction is defined as the obsessive viewing of pornography without regard to negative consequences. A pornography addiction is not technically a disease, according to medical doctors, but rather a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Let's ignore the facts and look at the opposing side. There is an immense amount of dispute as to whether a pornography addiction can even exist! Granted, if it does, does it have any negative side effects? A leading argument against a pornography addiction is that a vast amount of individuals who view pornography are still capable of living a constructive life. However, for a boundless amount of individuals, pornography viewing may morph into an obsession that interferes with the normal routine of daily life. When an individual's life is being run by a pornography obsession, the individual is often referred to as a pornography addict.

It has been suggested that an individual with a pornography addiction often experiences symptoms similar to those involved with substance addictions (drugs and alcohol). For example, the exaltation felt during the taking of drugs as opposed to the psychological and/or physical problems experienced when attempting to break the addiction may only worsen. More times than not, the individuals increase their dosage in an attempt to regain their state of exaltation.

Many mental health professionals specializing in the handling of pornography problems, such as a pornography addiction, suggest a pornography addiction is a reflection of the addicts inability to cope with unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions.

Though pornography is available in other tangible forms such as magazines and video tapes, psychologists who accept the concept of a pornography addiction argue that Internet pornography is more addictive than it's counterparts because of its easy availability. In addition, Internet pornography tends to be more hardcore and the privacy in which viewing pornography online offers only aids the problem. In order to continue the satisfaction of pornography viewing, a pornography addict may continue to search for more hardcore levels of pornography and/or various types of pornography.

Numerous pornography addicts are firm believers that they now have the best of both worlds: the comfort found in their addiction and returning to normal life. Their belief is flawed and definitely mistaken. In fact, a pornography addict has to consciously or subconsciously deal with the limited relationship problem that may stem from a pornography addiction and plainly live with their addiction. Former pornography addicts say they haven't been happier since breaking the addiction for they now may have a loving spouse and no longer have any skeletons in their closet.

However, the first step in overcoming a pornography addiction is to acknowledge a problem exists. It may feel impossible for a pornography addict to feel he/she is capable of ever finding another form of sexual pleasure with another individual as opposed to a magazine, television screen, or a computer screen. However, with specialized counseling the pornography addict will begin to seek a genuine relationship and gradually break the addiction to porn.

What may be the worst aspect of the problem of a pornography addiction is that each time the individual views pornography they gain the illusion that each of his or her sexual compulsions are capable of being fulfilled through fantasy. However, believing sexual redemption can be gained from a heavy amount of pornography viewing is the actual fantasy. Pornography is viewed as the addict's fix. The addiction to this fix may cause the user to become so involved with the pornography that a good relationship is destroyed. A relationship cannot and will not exist when the spending thousands of dollars and hours each day on the pornography is occurring.

To break a pornography addiction, the individual needs to take responsibility and be accountable! Join a 12-step Sexaholics Anonymous group or a support group similar to this. Or even find a dependable friend to report to of your successes. But most importantly, seek a legitimate relationship with a real individual and not a fantasy.

Is internet addiction real? Do you spend too much time online? Could you be addicted to the internet? Do your children complain that all you do is sit on the computer? Do you tend to spend more time on websites than you do with them? Is it time to take action?

Do a Google search for internet addiction and you will get nearly 755,000 search results. Other terms used are: Internet Addiction Disorder, compulsive internet use, web dependency, and pathological internet use. Clearly it is a problem that is being looked into. Compulsive internet use is classified as a mental illness in many countries, but in the U.S. it is not listed in the DSM-IV, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM-IV, used by counsellors, psychologists, and psychiatrists nationwide, infers that people can basically only be addicted to substances, such as drugs and not actions.

However, there are many cases of people who overuse the net so much that they are neglecting their work obligations and families to spend time online. There have even been cases where people became violent from not being able to log on. The internet can make infidelity, gambling and pornography readily accessible from your own home.

The argument that many would make is that the computer or the internet is not the problem, it is the reason for the person being on so much that is the problem. For example, not being very outgoing and finding it easier to meet people online, the computer is not technically the problem here. The same principle for gambling or shopping, the internet is just the vehicle used for the addiction or the overuse. If there were no computers, these people would find another way to exercise their addiction. Therefore, can you technically be addicted to the internet itself?

It has also been noted that most people that have internet addiction also have preexisting problems such as: depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, impulse control disorders, alcohol or tobacco use. It will be interesting to see what further studies in this area shows.

The U.S. Government Doesn't Identify Internet Addiction as a Mental Illness, but Many Countries Do
There are several different types of so called internet addictions, these are: sex, chatting, general surfing, gaming and money. If you think about it, you will notice that the person who spends hours doing online shopping is not the same as the person who is instant messaging, gambling, or playing games for hours. There are so many areas of overuse and they have different effects on the user and the people around them.

The U.S. is just beginning to brace the fact that many people may have a problem on their hands. The NY Times recently ran an article about internet addiction in South Korea. In this country, there are 140 internet addiction counselling centres, treatment programmes at more than 100 hospitals and they even have an Internet Rescue Camp, which is paid by the government. This camp is mainly for teens who were online so much that they began doing things like skipping school. The purpose of this camp is to show teens that real-life interaction is better than online interaction. The country plans to open up more camps because of the high demand. It will be interesting to see what the U.S. does to counteract the problem when and if they recognize it.

If you think you could have a problem, there is a short questionnaire on netaddiction.com that will give you some insight. If nothing else, it's just interesting to see how you scored. If you have a relatively high score then at least you will be aware that you are online way too much. If you are like me, that may be enough to alert you that there is life without the computer!

So if you think that being online is harmless, or you are being productive or if you just see it as something to do (like I did), ask yourself what would the impact be if you spent the amount of time you do on the internet with your children or your spouse. The answer will not be too surprising.

Sources:
http://ww.netaddiction.com/resources/iaindex.htm
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/18/technology/18rehab.html
http://www.aplaceofhope.com/reports_internet.html
http://www.wikipedia.org/WIKI/Internet_addiction